The Ugly Truth of Who I Am.

Sometimes, you feel like crying, not because you're not good enough, but because you finally figured out what you really are, and you find out, you are what you don't want to be the most, a bully. A big fat bully. And the thing is, you've seen all these movies when you were a child, you see the bullies and you think, When I grow up I never want to be like that, I want to be the person who saves the victim. The nice guy but as you get older you tend to lose yourself and you look inside and you find you're a mean, stupid and cruel creature. 

You start to be sad, because you realize people like you who scars other people's lives and say mean words that cut their hearts don't deserve anything you get. You don't deserve love, sympathy, you really don't deserve having a home, a family because you're such a terrible person. You also don't deserve the person who's there when you cry or you break down, because you make other people cry. 

When you do get punished, for hurting someone else, you feel it. You feel the pain when your teacher hits your hand or slaps your face for bullying an 11 year old girl, but really, you deserved so much more. Because what you got was a temporary pain, but what that girl got was forever. You can deal with this in two ways, strike back, or look into yourself.

And if you look into yourself you'll realize you're a horrible person, and that kid wishing she'll never turn out like this comes back to you, the person you were before.You feel like punishing yourself, cutting your veins, hitting your head into a wall just because you figured this is what you actually deserve.Because to you,

Bad things have to happen to bad people, like yourself.